That night I could not sleep. As I lay on my bed and watched the ceiling fan rotating, various thoughts started rewinding in my mind. How could he betray us? Never had I seen mom & dad fight, they always seemed so friendly with each other. Or is it that I was missing something? I could not figure out. I was thinking about the good times we three had spent together…times when we used to go out to the beach licking on the snow cones and watching the sun set. Mom was always scared of water and despised mine and dads venture into the sea. She watched us from far, fingers crossed, even as me and dad had an awesome time playing with the tide.
Today the tide seem to have receded forever. Never in my 14 yrs of life had I felt neglected by him. He was always there protecting me from my mischief’s and the subsequent spell of anger from mom. What had transcribed that he had to take such a decision in his life – a decision which impacts me even today.
That evening mom had told me never to mention or ask of dad to her. He is dead for us, is what she had told me. Strange was this feeling in my life – To kill a person in your heart when your mind knew he was alive. It made me feel suffocated. It often left me paralyzed. But I had to be strong for the sake of my mom and somewhere deep within I wanted answers to the many questions creeping in my mind.
The school was to reopen in a couple of days. How am I supposed to tell Khushi about all this? What will she think about me? Will she be judgmental? Will she continue to be my friend or disown me for the deeds of my dad? Questions kept lingering in my mind endlessly on a night which uncharacteristically was unending in itself <sigh>.
To be continued…..