I knew it was my last day there…

Waking up to the first rays of the sun

I walk up to the window to see a new day emerge

A day which was gonna be different than any other

There was a chill in the air and heaviness in heart

Was it the mist in the air or moistness in my eyes

I just failed to comprehend

As I kept wondering, the reason for my state

She hugged me tight, head on my chest

Listening to my heavy heart

And as I raised her head, watching her deep blue eyes

I knew it was my last day there…

100 Words on Saturday - Write Tribe

As Things Fall Apart (Part 8)

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6, Part 7

That night I could not sleep. As I lay on my bed and watched the ceiling fan rotating, various thoughts started rewinding in my mind. How could he betray us? Never had I seen mom & dad fight, they always seemed so friendly with each other. Or is it that I was missing something? I could not figure out. I was thinking about the good times we three had spent together…times when we used to go out to the beach licking on the snow cones and watching the sun set. Mom was always scared of water and despised mine and dads venture into the sea. She watched us from far, fingers crossed, even as me and dad had an awesome time playing with the tide.

Today the tide seem to have receded forever. Never in my 14 yrs of life had I felt neglected by him. He was always there protecting me from my mischief’s and the subsequent spell of anger from mom. What had transcribed that he had to take such a decision in his life – a decision which impacts me even today.

That evening mom had told me never to mention or ask of dad to her. He is dead for us, is what she had told me. Strange was this feeling in my life – To kill a person in your heart when your mind knew he was alive. It made me feel suffocated. It often left me paralyzed. But I had to be strong for the sake of my mom and somewhere deep within I wanted answers to the many questions creeping in my mind.

The school was to reopen in a couple of days. How am I supposed to tell Khushi about all this? What will she think about me? Will she be judgmental? Will she continue to be my friend or disown me for the deeds of my dad? Questions kept lingering in my mind endlessly on a night which uncharacteristically was unending in itself <sigh>.

To be continued…..

Moments….

Strange are the moments in life

Like a tide in the ocean

They rise and they fall

Moments of togetherness

Followed by moments of solitude

Moments of roar

Followed by moans

Moments where the feelings ride high

To moments where they are left dry

 

One cycle after another

Life brings moments that makes us smile

And life brings moments that make us cry

Moments of glory and moments of agony

Moments of joy and moments of pain

Well packaged indeed

 

With my beloved by my side

Every moment was just fine

Be it a moment where I experienced joy

Or be it the moment that made me cry

Thy presence was soothing

And I found myself cruising

In the ocean of life

 

Then came a wind of change

That swept all my faith

The castle I was building

Swept away in the ocean

The hope that I was building

Falling away like a pack of card

As I stood and saw

My beloved going with the wind

In front of me

 

The storm seems to have engulfed me

My life seemed to move into darkness

My voice seemed to be choked

My eyes refusing to see

My ears refusing to hear

I feel paralyzed

 

Days and Nights passed by

As I stand by the veranda

The storm may have gone

But my hearts still in a turmoil

As I watch a new morning emerging

Bright & Sunny

Stark opposite to the storm that just went by

I see the birds back from the wilderness

Back chirping and fighting as usual

Singing in their usual tone

Going about their routine

Like nothing had happened

 

And they make me realize

Life has to go on

With you or without you

 

Good Bye….

Tonight is the night

I want to remember

For the rest of my life

Come tomorrow

And you shall be gone

For reasons of your own

Which I cannot know

 

Sometimes I think

Why did we meet

If our separation was destined

Why did you gave me happiness

If you were to take it away so instantaneous

Why did you show me the dream

That shall now, remain only a dream

 

As we sit hand in hand

Your shoulder resting on mine

My mind goes back to the days

When we were like flowers

Blooming in the garden

Like two bodies, but one soul

Unwary of the world around us

 

When you are gone

Even though I would want to forget you

There will be a place somewhere in my heart

Waiting to hear from you

Hoping for you to return

Thinking of a life

With just you and me

 

The night is about to end

And my worst fear begins to transcend

As the day breaks

My hope begins to break

As I walk with you towards the gate

Your hand still entwined in mine

I feel like walking on shards of glasses

Piercing my emotions, piercing my heart

 

As you start walking away from me

Tears start filling my eyes

My mind becomes numb

As if something had stung

My heart chokes

As I try calling out for you

It’s not very long

Before you vanish from my sight

Leaving me crucified

Even as I prepare to live a life

Without you being by my side

 

Good Bye my love….

I wish…

It has been years now as I return to the place that I once called home

From where I had made a run without letting anyone know

I never wanted to come back to this place, but strange is destiny

It brings me back to the place which is part of my legacy

The reception that I get is not something that I had expected

As I had left most of them dejected

There were many who had gathered to see me

With emotions of varying degrees

First to greet me were my friends

They were part of my life at every bend

Until I had decided to fend on my own

Disregarding all their suggestions & recommendations

I had stated it was over and walked away brazenly

As much as it is heartening to see them now

My heart is filled with guilt for leaving them then

Standing far by the corner

I see her, away from the crowd

Her otherwise beautiful eyes are filled with tears

Tears that I had left her with when I had walked away

I had betrayed her love then

But her love for me is the reason why she is here today

As I enter my house I see all my family

There is no smile on anybody’s face

Strange is our reunion

Filled with sorrow instead of joy

I was and am the reason for their pain

For I had left them one fine day without caring for their fate

I see my mother sitting by the couch

Surrounded by my sister and cousins

The room is filled with grief

My coming back has no relief

I lye by the door helpless and dejected

There is nothing that I can do now

As time has turned its table on me

The place is decorated

There are beautiful flowers

And there is fragrance spread by the incense stick

But little can they do to wipe the sorrow from the air

As my father gets ready to bid me goodbye

Lying on the pyre

Waiting for the final rites

I wish I had a chance to make things right

Very often in our lives we become so selfish and indifferent to the feelings of others that we tend to think ‘my way is the right way’ and disregard every other thing. We get angry with our near and dear ones and often wait for them to make the first move as our ego stands before us making us not to move. This poem tries to capture that essence. Let’s not wait for death to set things right, if you have someone with whom you are estranged, take a moment and give him or her a buzz!

Where are you my love….

I visited the town market
Where our eyes had first met
I was lost in you eyes then
Thoughts of yours is what I’m lost in now
Where are you my love

I visited the bus stand where we first spoke
Watching your full lips up close
Had raised my heartbeats manifolds
Today as I stand alone awaiting you
I find within my heart certain beats amiss
When I fail to notice you
Where are you my love

I went to the lakeside where we first made love
Our lips had met as we were intimate
It was a moment of bliss which I truely miss
You had tears in your eyes
Tears of joy as you had called, which I had wiped with a smile
As I sit in solitude besides the lake
Revisiting those lovely moments from our date
Tears trickle down my face – A face that has forgotten to smile
Where are you my love

I visited the Chapel and met with the priest
I asked him where is she, he had no clue just as me
I then went to the valley close to the chapel
where we had spent most of our times so jolly
I shouted your name, but it was all in vain
Where are you my love

As I go around places looking out for you my love
There is this one place where I will always find you
Within my heart in every beat there is only you!